the killer in me is the killer in you

send this smile over to you

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Being. Adored. Again.
I have been everywhere I wanted to be,done it whats next? I was recording in the studio until I became sick and spent the better part of a week in the hospital. And the worst part was I became ill the day after finishing the first track!!

I don't feel we are ready but the band is pushing for a gig at the bluebird this summer/fall. While feeling sorry for myself, I wrote some decent songs that need to be practiced before going on stage with it.

I know I havn't even brushed the surface with trying to fill in the void jessica and I created when she and I didnt have the communication to prevent any misloyalties. I know I will only become stronger from this emptyness I continue to feel, however, I don't regret anything from my past because I have learned ALOT about who I am and what compromises must be made in order to achieve and deserve REAL LOVE.

I never wanted to be back in the band scene but, its who I am and even though its a transparent emotion, I am adored..again.. There has been only one to catch my eye however,as I have explained to her, I am not ready to be with anyone. I doubt anything will change that..
it is almost as if I am destined to feel empty just so I can write music that people/kids can relate to.

I am now bartending in downtown lodo. The attention from the public is overwhelming but its very similiar to when I was bartending for aramark...just alot more in tips!! lol
I am in the pavillions downtown now awaiting the band to meet up but I spose I will go see a movie if they dont show up soon.


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